Go Joe, Goddammit!
For those of you (a) in the States and (b) not willing to let go of your childhood days of playing soldiers, be advised that the Warren Ellis PG-13 G.I. Joe: Resolute will begin airing tomorrow on adultswim.com. It will air on the website as a series of ten five-minute webisodes, followed by one ten-minute conclusion. The final webisode will be posted after the whole thing airs as a single one-hour event on the Cartoon Network on April 25th. Of course, if you’re not in the States and can’t access these sites, under no circumstances should you torrent it on April 26th.
What does PG-13 mean? It means people, including beloved characters from the series, will die. It means Cobra Commander is not going to be comic relief. It means that Snake Eyes will stab people with his sword. It means EXPOSED VAGINAS.
Okay, it doesn’t mean exposed vaginas.
Here is your trailer of awesome.
OH LIKE I’M THE ONLY ONE WHO MASTURBATED TO THAT TRAILER, YEAH RIGHT
So, how do Jem and the Holograms figure into this? Do they provide the non-exposed vaginae?
Just watched the first two, which are up now. In the first five minutes, two major characters die, the USS Flagg is crippled, and Moscow is obliterated. In the second five minutes, Snake Eyes fucks some serious shit up ninja-style.
/nerdgasm
They’re also on YouTube, until they get pulled.
Sorry. Was never into Joe. My Barbies were happy with one-legged, broken-necked Ken.
Snake Eyes would totally kill Ken and take your Barbies for his concubines, because that is the way of the freaking awesome ninja Joe.
He would leave Skipper for Storm Shadow.